Sometimes my heart gets heavy. I take kids to a park and notice vandalism, an obscene object spray painted on the side of brand new playground equipment; I read the news and grow weary of the war, and stories of hateful crimes around the world; and even closer to home, listening to a family member on the telephone say one pessimistic thing after another. The ball of negativity can get pretty large when times are tough, and it’s hard to find anything positive.
For some, life is even tougher; we've all been in that dark side of life where we think we cannot go on. That's when even the smallest ray of light can give you hope and allow you the strength to face another day. I've been there; although those times make you stronger, they are never easy.
How do some people seem to go through life and “make the best of it” and celebrate what they have, rather than what they have not? A very wise older man told me one time that I can "choose to see beauty, or choose to see ugly". That advice is one that I think of often.
That advice came from a man with a spinal cord injury which left him paralyzed from the neck down. At the time, I was an intern at the Darlington County Disability Board, and had gone on the road with a woman who was a HASCI SC (Head and Spinal Cord Injury Service Coordinator) to visit some of her consumers. This was in the fall of 2000, well before our world changed a year later. We were driving that day to talk to this man and his wife about things he needed to make his life easier, and to preserve his health. I had been warned on the drive that going into his home would change my life..."It's like going to church", the woman told me.
When we went in, the fellow was in his wheelchair; he was wearing a soft blue sweat suit, and his arms were positioned over some foam cushions on the armrests. He had some support near his head, not unlike the headrest that we became familiar seeing when the late Christopher Reeve made a public appearance. His chair was near a window overlooking his back yard, and the sun shone in on him in such a way it made my eyes fill even more.
He smiled as I was introduced, and told me about the bushes and trees that were in his yard outside the window. As his SC spoke with his wife, he shared stories of his grandchildren, the types of birds that frequented the bird feeder near the window, and the weather we'd been having that fall. He told me that "Life is good. The good Lord let me live to see my grands be born, to hear them laugh, and to see my wife's beautiful face each day. You can choose to see beauty, or you can choose to see ugly. I choose beauty. I am blessed."
He could have sat in that chair and cursed the day that left him paralyzed, lamented over what he could no longer do... yet he made a choice each day to remain an optimistic man. How dare I, with good health, strive for any less than he could? I tried hard to be an optimistic person, but my cynicism and sarcasm was pretty thick and some days it was just as easy to not bother notice the good around me.
At that time, I had a bumper sticker on my old car "Sally Suburban" that said,
"Commit Random Acts of Kindness & Senseless Beauty". It was really popular in the early 1990's, and that sentiment went around the world. There are now books, groups, and even a foundation, The Random Acts of Kindness Foundation. I had that sentiment on my car, but I didn’t always practice it.
Years later, I’ve made it a point to notice more. Do more. I am delighted when I notice people quietly living their lives who are like this man, and others like him that we find along our path that move us in such a way.
Just last week, a woman called from a company in Hartsville, one I had never heard of, and asked where a donation would be sent for the Hartsville Soup Kitchen Mission. I told the woman the address to Wesley UMC, thought to myself, "how nice!", and went on to finish the project I was working on.
Imagine my surprise on Monday when our administrator told me that a large check had just come in the mail for the Soup Kitchen from that same company...in the amount of $5,000! Imagine the good that that random act of kindness can accomplish!
I shared that event with a friend of mine. She told me an extraordinary story about when her husband was a "new Christian", as he had been introduced to faith when he was in college. She was dating him at the time, and found a bank book in his car and asked him about it; he told her that he had met a missionary during a campus crusade that needed a car. He had taken him shopping...and BOUGHT him a used car. When she gave him a shocked response, he said innocently, "Isn't that what Christians do?"
Flabbergasted, she told him that normally a committee would be formed, funds raised, and that no one ever just did THAT on their OWN!
Needless to say, she fell even more in love with him and married him. The car payments weren't much, and the missionary went on to marry, and raise children that are now also working in the mission field like their parents.
There are so many inspiring stories like these that go on every day. Some are so grand and newsworthy that we all hear of them, and some are quiet like those two examples, shared among a small group of people.
Some don't involve money; random acts of kindness may be helping a stranger, bringing food to someone through Meals on Wheels, caring for elderly family members, opening a Bible at a restaurant and witnessing to troubled waiters and waitresses, or lending a shoulder to cry on. Some are even smaller, like smiling, holding a door open for another, sending a thank you note, complimenting someone on a job well done. The extraordinary thing is that even an act of kindness that may seem small to you may be huge to a person who hasn't received a glimmer of kindness their way all day.
Sharing stories of acts of kindness is not only heart warming, it is inspirational. Bad news may travel fast, but good news creates a chain of good deeds that transcends time.
None of us know how long we have here on this earth, but we all have at least one opportunity each day to connect with one another and slow down enough to notice the opportunity to be kind. Act on it! And notice others that are doing this. Celebrate the beauty of kindness- "choose to see beauty".
Here are a few great quotes from Albert Schweitzer:
* "Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt, kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust, and hostility to evaporate."
* "Do something for somebody everyday for which you do not get paid."
* "Do something wonderful, people may imitate it."
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