Why didn't I think of this before?

Ever since, well, forever, I've wanted to be a writer. I suppose it was all those nights snuggling up to my Mumma while she read "The Blue Bunny" and other favorite books before I was five years old...I've just loved books. I love the way they feel, they way they smell, turning the pages, just everything about them. Even the paper! Ah. And, I love reading. So much so that I could not wait to read; I was promised that I would learn to read when I started school, and when I got to kindergarten the first day and asked my new teacher, Mrs. Plummer, if she was going to teach me to read... and she said, "No, darling, we learn our letters first...you learn to read in first grade", I made up my mind I wasn't going back. I told my mother so when I got off the bus that afternoon. I stuck out kindergarten learning letters that I already knew from my Mumma and Sesame Street, and waited ever so patiently for first grade.

Lucky me, I had the best first grade teacher in the world, Mrs. McAllister. Oh, what a teacher! She was magical. She knew that reading was going to be important to me, and she took me under her wing. I literally held my breath in excitement each day in her class. By the time I got to second grade, I was reading so voraciously that I wouldn't notice the entire class leaving for recess. I'd look up and realize they had left, shrug my shoulders, and dive back in. By third grade, with Mr. .. Um, what was his name? ... he realized that I had read every single book in the downstairs of the Mitchell School building, which housed first through third grade. He let me walk upstairs to the Big Kid's Floor, the 4th, 5th and 6th grade floor, to get new reading material. Their books were arranged in large, tall bookcases in the open area at the top of the stairs at the back side of the building. I can close my eyes and picture it so clearly. (which reminds me, I must go back there the next time I go to Bath, they have offices in the old Mitchell School Building, it'd be a hoot to go up there!)

So, yes, my love affair with books has been a long and lovely collection of years. And something inside me has whispered each year, "You should write." I had the good fortune to continue my trend of wonderful teachers, teachers that praised and nurtured my writing. I felt good writing and it made time go still.

In college, I pushed that thought aside and tried to get a better paying career. Which, as you know, when you push the muse aside you are set up for disappointing jobs. I don't regret any of them, they shaped me to be who I am today and gave me a wealth of experiences to learn and grow from (and a bushel full of material!) I thought I'd maybe get a great idea and write the "Great American Novel" one day. The time, the muse, the ideas, just never ever got there though.

Until now. I've been chasing the fantasy of writing a great romantic novel, and it hasn't come to me. Then, yesterday, I had an epiphany. I love those! I realized... I love children. I adore them. I'd rather hang out with them and talk to them then most grown ups I know. And, I like entertaining them. I like coming up with silly voices, silly rhymes, silly songs, silly stories. And I love children's books... and I love children's music... and I love painting, acting, glitter, playing, and being a kid myself.

So... what the heck am I doing wanting to write a romantic novel for grown ups!!! Especially when my love life is decidedly not romantic!! I know kids, why don't I write a children's book? Heck, the name "Jana Banana" is inspiration enough! Chapter books with Jana Banana going places, meeting new multi ethnic friends, friends in wheel chairs, socially responsible and positive themed stories. Funny and sweet stories. Sometimes poignant and touching stories. Then, I remembered that I had a dream during my divorce of walking up a steep staircase with my children, alternating carrying up the ones that were struggling with the long walk. When we got there, there was classroom with an old white haired man and a woman. God/Goddess? I don't know. All I know is that they handed me a box of beautiful valentines and valentine looking small books. And I interpreted that to mean that I was supposed to spread love... well, heck, maybe it was just as literal as "make love cards and love books". Do what I love to do anyway...

then tonight, I clicked on "Ask Fortuna", and I got this:

Draw a picture of what you want.

Ah, just what I needed to hear tonight.

Jana Banana books, get ready. I am ready to give birth to you.