Sunflowers in June

Every June, I feel like wearing a “I (heart) sunflowers” tee shirt… all because of Mr. Pressly Coker, and the field he plants on 14th Street Extension (between Golf Course Road and Home Avenue).



He plants these amazing sunflowers that you can see on 14th Street Extension. Laura Crouch told me who planted them last year, when I first posted on HVTD about this amazing sight.



This morning, the sunflowers were all tipping their heads towards the sun, so I pulled over the van and walked down into the middle of the field.




And if I could have played music while walking through the field, this song would have been the one.




Once again, thank you, Mr. Coker, for planting these sunflowers!

Come Home With Me

My family and I have lived in Hartsville, SC since December 1994, and we are happy and proud to call your fair city our "other home".

Come visit my other home, my beloved home town of Bath, Maine.



Bath is known for it's shipbuilding heritage, and Bath Iron Works is the major employer in town.



The downtown area is lively, and you see flowers everywhere in the summer- even the lampposts.



Nostalgia abounds, from the many antique stores to the original clock from Hallet's Drug Store.



My late father's family made their living on the sea, fishing for these guys even in the cold winter months.



The temperatures are cooler up here, and that is one of the reasons why we choose summer to visit rather than January!



But of course, the best reason to go home is family... how many 72 year old mothers do you know that have a summer job landscaping? (During the school year, she works at the Moulton Union at Bowdoin College.)




Yes, my Mom is "wicked cute". She is so healthy, doesn't take any medicine and is so healthy that her doctor just shakes his head when she comes in for a check up. She even has a good sense of humor, and didn't get too mad when the grandkids stuck a live lobster on her shoulder:



More stuff from vacation, originally posted on HartsvilleToday:

This is the Alliquippa Harbor in Phippsburg, Maine. There used to be a summer camp here that ended in 1982. It's a secret little hideaway that we love to visit each summer, and my Dad's favorite place in the world.



Where else but Maine can you find old wooden lobster traps and buoy bird houses for sale on the side of Route 1? These were spotted in Wiscasset.



We've all been to the infamous "South of the Border", here is the Northern Version...looks a wee bit different, don't you think?




Buoys are just for lobster traps anymore, these are a decoration on a restaurant in Boothbay Harbor- I saw a professional photographer take photo from this angle, thought I'd try my hand at some "fancy photos":



My mother's favorite pasttime, shopping...it's awesome here in Boothbay Harbor.



I immediately thought of "The Kayaking Latham Family of Hartsville" when I saw this young lady preparing the kayak rentals:




It's good luck to kiss this fish in Boothbay, you may find the man of your dreams... here's my Mom giving it a try:





It worked for me, here's me with my new Maine boyfriend!



On our drive home from Maine to Hartsville, this was by far the most interesting site we saw on the highway... this was the topic of much conversation at a rest area in Virginia:




Nothing woke this guy up, even the crazy folks like me that whipped out cameras and cell phones to capture his unusual snooze!

We drove to the Smoky Mountains of North Carolina to see the eldest Longfellow boy, taking summer classes and working an internship at ropes course. The mountains are just gorgeous! We took a bunch of photos at the Smoky Mountain Parkway, then at the Dry Falls on the way to Highland NC.





To describe how it felt to have your kid drive STRAIGHT UP A MOUNTAIN to feed his friend's two dogs (a Great Dane and 1/2 Wolf, 1/2 Alaskan Malamute) could be summed up as "terrified". He told us, "Buckle up, I have to gun it to keep traction when headed up."

When I looked out the passenger window, all I saw was how far down I'd be falling, and ahead, nothing but a trail almost 90 degrees pointing up, gravel flying, a few little ledges to the right and left.dotted with a few cabins here and there.



Here is my proof that I actually made it to "Lauren's Cabin" in my kid's car and back in one piece.



Differences between Bath Maine and Hartsville SC:

Sunrise:

Bath
Twi: 4:34am Yes, indeed, the sky got light and birds were chirping that early!!
Sunrise: 5:09am
Sunset: 8:20pm

Hartsville:
Twi: 5:45am
Sunrise: 6:14am
Sunset: 8:36pm

Temperatures:

Bath:
morning 61 degrees, high today of 74 degrees, tonight's temperature 57 degrees; tomorrow, 77 degrees. humidity: 90%

Hartsville:
morning 73 degrees, high today of 92 degrees, tonight's temperature 72 degrees; tomorrow, 90 degrees. humidity: 98%

Most popular summer meal:

Bath: steamed clams, lobster, corn on the cob

Hartsville: barbeque, corn on the cob

Distance to the Beach:

Bath: 10-20 miles
Hartsville: 90 miles

Windows?

Bath: Wide open, to let the cool breezes blow in at night, and to help the ever present fans do their summer magic.

Hartsville: Closed at the first sign of pollen, and the AC on full blast!

Memories

This little stone is near my great-grandmother's grave at Oak Grove Cemetery in Bath, Maine.

In our family, especially when you live far from home, one of the rituals is to go to the cemeteries to water the flowers planted at the grave sites of our loved ones. This year was a little sad, as I recently lost my Dad and my Great Uncle Bud.

My father is buried at the Morningside Cemetery in Phippsburg, Maine. It is small, and the hill rolls down towards a salt water marsh. As I walked along the cemetery with my kids and my mom, we stopped and read the stones of strangers. Now and then, I'd recognize a family name, and Mom pointed out a few that she thought I would know. Mom, the ever-present gardener, bent to pinch off the dead blooms from the geraniums and impatients planted on my father's grave.

"I can't believe I am fixing the flowers on my ex-husband's grave.", she muttered to herself, making me laugh. Come to think of it, Dad would have thought that was pretty funny, too.

We all know that the person is not "there" at the cemetery. They are not "there" during the visiting hours or the funeral, either. But you have a comfort in visiting those places just the same.

We saw children's graves with little toys left by grieving grandparents and parents. A stone with a collection of seaglass and pretty shells and stones. Near the grave of a young man who just died last year, his pair of fishing boots and his clam hoe. No one had disturbed a thing, and the sun shone brightly on this little grassy knoll so full of the memories of so many families.

Walking through the cemetery, I thought... "I don't really feel Dad here." We got back into the van, and I drove to the Alliquippa, a tiny harbor where he used to moor his boat. The ropes are still strung to the old apple tree that he used to sit on an overturned 5 gallon bucket, drinking a beer after a day fishing. The rocks are steep and spikey with barnacles, and I climbed down them barefooted to search for pieces of seaglass that always collects at the base. Expensive "summer people's" sailboats went by, small yachts, and the dirtier, worn looking lobster boats of the locals. Dad used to wait patiently for me to find my sea glass treasures, and would call out to me, "did you find any blue ones?" It seemed strange to not have him there.

I looked out over the harbor, breathed in the salt air, and closed my eyes. I thought to myself, "This, this is where I will come for the rest of my life to really feel close to Dad."

He was a man that didn't make it much past the 8th grade, survived the Great Depression, and worked really hard to care for his family. He was quiet and had a hard time coming up with the words to tell you how he felt, but the pride he had for his children was strong. He once named a boat after me, the "Jana E.", and now as a woman nearing 40 I realize that may be the greatest way he had to tell me he loved me, the surprise baby they had when their older children were nearly all teenagers.

This morning I went to my old little childhood church. The minister gave a neat children's sermon; he showed the children some fossils, and told them what they were, and the age of the fossil. Then he asked them, "what kind of mark will you leave during the years God allows you to live?" I thought about that all day. As the little plaque on the cemetery stone says, "those who loved them know who is buried here"...whether there is a mark left behind or not.

Thank You, Miss May

The sultry hot summer day gives way to dusk...and in a city burgeoning with new places to shop and eat in buildings lit with artificial light and made comfortable with artificially cool air, there lies a park that was once a dream.

After spending so much time indoors today, complaining of the heat and humidity, and longing for the cool Northern breezes of home- my mind wandered to the most beautiful place in Hartsville.

There wasn't much time before dusk, would the gates still be open? Should I just drive on back home with my purchases, tend to the chores and fold laundry? A quick coin-flip of a shiny 2007 penny, and off to Kalmia Gardens I drove. The first gate was closed, my spirits sunk, but the second gate was open.

My car was the only car; I thought I was alone, but a couple talked in the garden arbor area near the fountain. I took the path by the house, and found a new treasure- a young Chinese Parasol Tree, never noticed before.

The path to the pond was soft, and spread with freshly spread mulch. The marvel of the garden, so close to the city yet so natural and untouched, immediately made my decision to stop the best choice of the day. The garden looks even more magical in the waning light, and the smell from the trees and plants seemed somehow deeper.

At last, the pond! The softest grass in the world is in front of this pond, and begs for bare feet...which I am always willing to oblige. The turtles and the minnows swam about, and the insects began their night music. Just me, feet dangling in the water from the dock, just me all alone in the circle of quiet that is the pond at Kalmia. To wish, perchance to dream?

Tonight, I thank you, Miss May Coker. Thank you for dreaming of this public garden, and to the many people who helped create it and continue to maintain it.

It's the best thing about living in Hartsville.

For goodness sake, don't put off a visit to Kalmia. It will restore your soul.

Reality Check

It was so hot today, it nearly made me faint. As I laughed about the heat with our sexton from our church... she hates the heat just as much as I do... she said something that has been haunting me all day long.

"Just imagine those soldiers in Iraq, I hear it gets over a hundred every day....and they are wearing all that heavy equipment...And all those babies dying over where you want to visit, Jana, over in Africa..."

Indeed.

The temperature in Baghdad, Iraq will be 111 degrees tomorrow, and up to 122 in other areas of the country. No air conditioning for the soldiers, no Route 44 Cherry Limeade, no relief.

We have an obligation to keep these men and women in our hearts and in our prayers every morning, noon and night... and pray for their safe return as soon as possible. Here in the comfort of our safe homes, lulled by the media that celebrities being sent to jail is newsworthy, we have grown complacent to the fact that a war is waging.

We need to pray for them, and for the children and innocent victims of the terrorism around the world, villages ravaged by war, natural disasters, famine and drought. We are all pretty darn spoiled living here in the U.S.

Thank you, Miss Joyce, for reminding me.

Watch this video with images from the beauty of our planet and the lovely words of a late singer that would have been singing songs of an end to war and hunger if he were alive today.



Now, pray. And vote responsibly each and every time there is an election day. If you don't attend a church that contributes to a charity (and I believe they all do), then get out that check book and start your own "tithing". There are charities that need your support, whether it be local charities, national, or global.

Forget sensationalized and money making books like "The Secret" and make some positive changes in your own life by donating, volunteering, and advocating for causes that you are passionate about. Whether it be for humans or animals, who cares, just create your own positive energy by giving back. And thank the angels on earth that wake you up like Miss Joyce did for me today, they are seem to say the right thing at the right time when you are feeling all "me, me, me" and remind you that you are but a speck on this big blue planet.

Get Outside and Play!

The large building at Lawton Park is being renovated, but the park is open for play! As hot as it was today, the breeze off the Prestwood Lake felt delicious this morning. Be sure to drop by, grab a swing, bring a picnic to the tables, walk along the remaining dock, and enjoy the summer day! And by the way, grown ups have just as much fun on those swings as kids do.



The kids all had a great time showing off, "Look Miss Jana Banana, I can do all the monkey bars!"



We were a bit careful of not falling off the dock into Prestwood Lake, as all of these children are below the weight of the poor dog that was recently ..."consumed"... by the resident alligator(s). One little guy threw a few pinecones in just in case, to let the alligator know that "We will NOT get eaten by a 'gator today!"





A neighbor dog wandered over and captured the hearts of all the children. They named him "Charlie". Here he is with his angels, Susan and Jasmine. If anyone knows who the real owner is, please tell him that they almost lost him, as the kids tried to lure him onto the van and take him back with them... they were that much in love with this little dog! He has an itchy back, and went under the rail of the picnic table and the benches to scratch his back- they thought that was hilarious.



After a long morning of trying and falling off, Zion finally was able to cross a few of the monkey bars!




Here's our future... these kids know that the most important thing is love.

Sally Suburban

My favorite car was, R.I.P, "Sally Suburban". She was an old diesel blue and silver Chevy 4wd Suburban Silverado. When you started her engine in the morning it sounded like a jet plane ready for flight. The diesel fuel didn't like the cold, so in the winter I had to plug in the glo-plugs each night... imagine, a vehicle with an electric cord hanging down from the front grill? That car drove me to Maine and back for years, and I always delighted in pumping gas in that 40 gallon tank along the big rigs on the highway truck stops.

She was dented and scratched so much that she was easy to find in the parking lot, and even more easy to recognize by the 20 or so Maine bumper stickers plastered on the back. Once when I was really, really broke and really, really late getting my tags renewed, all those bumper stickers saved me from a ticket as a cop followed me for miles, apparently reading the stickers.

By the end of our time together, she had a lot wrong: a back door that wouldn't open from the outside, so you'd have to reach through from the passenger side; no air conditioner (horrible in this SC humidity!); problems with leaking oil, so much so that an old friend of mine suggested that I "not park in his driveway"; and a penchant for blowing fuses.

The car loved me, I truly believe. I was the only one that could pop her hood...punching it "Fonzie-style", and if anyone else tried to work on her engine, they'd fail. In that big old car, we were safe from other vehicles as I learned how to drive on the highway all by myself, and the sheer size of the vehicle always allowed us plenty of room from little fancy cars that didn't dare get too close. Her looks always allowed me to see a person's true character, too, for if someone proclaimed her a cool car, they got instant acceptance...and those that turned up their nose at her were dismissed for being a snob.

For all her problems, and all my complaining about her, I cried when her engine finally died beyond repair. I still miss hoisting up into the driver's seat and driving with all the windows rolled down, playing music and singing along. She was sold for parts to a guy in Bishopville, and when I drove out there to retrieve the small check I got for her, I cried again. He shook his head, and said, "It's just a car, little lady." I guess he never really loved a vehicle.

The worst part is that I never bothered to get a good photo of the back with all the stickers. If Sally is still sitting out in the field at the junkyard, maybe I'll go buy that back panel...and hang it on the wall of my future barn as "art".

Random Acts of Kindness (and Senseless Acts of Beauty)

Sometimes my heart gets heavy. I take kids to a park and notice vandalism, an obscene object spray painted on the side of brand new playground equipment; I read the news and grow weary of the war, and stories of hateful crimes around the world; and even closer to home, listening to a family member on the telephone say one pessimistic thing after another. The ball of negativity can get pretty large when times are tough, and it’s hard to find anything positive.

For some, life is even tougher; we've all been in that dark side of life where we think we cannot go on. That's when even the smallest ray of light can give you hope and allow you the strength to face another day. I've been there; although those times make you stronger, they are never easy.

How do some people seem to go through life and “make the best of it” and celebrate what they have, rather than what they have not? A very wise older man told me one time that I can "choose to see beauty, or choose to see ugly". That advice is one that I think of often.

That advice came from a man with a spinal cord injury which left him paralyzed from the neck down. At the time, I was an intern at the Darlington County Disability Board, and had gone on the road with a woman who was a HASCI SC (Head and Spinal Cord Injury Service Coordinator) to visit some of her consumers. This was in the fall of 2000, well before our world changed a year later. We were driving that day to talk to this man and his wife about things he needed to make his life easier, and to preserve his health. I had been warned on the drive that going into his home would change my life..."It's like going to church", the woman told me.

When we went in, the fellow was in his wheelchair; he was wearing a soft blue sweat suit, and his arms were positioned over some foam cushions on the armrests. He had some support near his head, not unlike the headrest that we became familiar seeing when the late Christopher Reeve made a public appearance. His chair was near a window overlooking his back yard, and the sun shone in on him in such a way it made my eyes fill even more.

He smiled as I was introduced, and told me about the bushes and trees that were in his yard outside the window. As his SC spoke with his wife, he shared stories of his grandchildren, the types of birds that frequented the bird feeder near the window, and the weather we'd been having that fall. He told me that "Life is good. The good Lord let me live to see my grands be born, to hear them laugh, and to see my wife's beautiful face each day. You can choose to see beauty, or you can choose to see ugly. I choose beauty. I am blessed."

He could have sat in that chair and cursed the day that left him paralyzed, lamented over what he could no longer do... yet he made a choice each day to remain an optimistic man. How dare I, with good health, strive for any less than he could? I tried hard to be an optimistic person, but my cynicism and sarcasm was pretty thick and some days it was just as easy to not bother notice the good around me.

At that time, I had a bumper sticker on my old car "Sally Suburban" that said,
"Commit Random Acts of Kindness & Senseless Beauty". It was really popular in the early 1990's, and that sentiment went around the world. There are now books, groups, and even a foundation, The Random Acts of Kindness Foundation. I had that sentiment on my car, but I didn’t always practice it.

Years later, I’ve made it a point to notice more. Do more. I am delighted when I notice people quietly living their lives who are like this man, and others like him that we find along our path that move us in such a way.

Just last week, a woman called from a company in Hartsville, one I had never heard of, and asked where a donation would be sent for the Hartsville Soup Kitchen Mission. I told the woman the address to Wesley UMC, thought to myself, "how nice!", and went on to finish the project I was working on.

Imagine my surprise on Monday when our administrator told me that a large check had just come in the mail for the Soup Kitchen from that same company...in the amount of $5,000! Imagine the good that that random act of kindness can accomplish!

I shared that event with a friend of mine. She told me an extraordinary story about when her husband was a "new Christian", as he had been introduced to faith when he was in college. She was dating him at the time, and found a bank book in his car and asked him about it; he told her that he had met a missionary during a campus crusade that needed a car. He had taken him shopping...and BOUGHT him a used car. When she gave him a shocked response, he said innocently, "Isn't that what Christians do?"

Flabbergasted, she told him that normally a committee would be formed, funds raised, and that no one ever just did THAT on their OWN!

Needless to say, she fell even more in love with him and married him. The car payments weren't much, and the missionary went on to marry, and raise children that are now also working in the mission field like their parents.
There are so many inspiring stories like these that go on every day. Some are so grand and newsworthy that we all hear of them, and some are quiet like those two examples, shared among a small group of people.

Some don't involve money; random acts of kindness may be helping a stranger, bringing food to someone through Meals on Wheels, caring for elderly family members, opening a Bible at a restaurant and witnessing to troubled waiters and waitresses, or lending a shoulder to cry on. Some are even smaller, like smiling, holding a door open for another, sending a thank you note, complimenting someone on a job well done. The extraordinary thing is that even an act of kindness that may seem small to you may be huge to a person who hasn't received a glimmer of kindness their way all day.

Sharing stories of acts of kindness is not only heart warming, it is inspirational. Bad news may travel fast, but good news creates a chain of good deeds that transcends time.

None of us know how long we have here on this earth, but we all have at least one opportunity each day to connect with one another and slow down enough to notice the opportunity to be kind. Act on it! And notice others that are doing this. Celebrate the beauty of kindness- "choose to see beauty".

Here are a few great quotes from Albert Schweitzer:

* "Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt, kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust, and hostility to evaporate."

* "Do something for somebody everyday for which you do not get paid."

* "Do something wonderful, people may imitate it."

Yeah, being 40 is gonna rock this year.

Okay, my hormonal overbalance is over and I am back to center.

And over it.

I told my ex boyfriend about what happened with the ex husband and he said, eloquently,

"WELL, STOP IT."

Indeed.


Now I am just stopping it, moving on once again, and entirely ready to begin the era of my 40's with a bit more sense and more passion.

please don't come so close

We exchange the youngest child for a weekend with you, and when I get out of the car you walk towards me and my heart goes into my throat and I feel that familiar rush of love...then I see your wife paces behind, and she greets me, and you are still walking towards me and smiling and I cannot for the life of me understand why

why you walked completely off the curb and got so close to me that I could smell your cologne

and I am grateful for sunglasses, so very grateful for the sunglasses I am wearing, and that you are wearing, for if I were to look at your eyes with my naked eyes you would know

and probably see some tears

as they are welling in my eyes even now just thinking of it.

Damn you for not letting me move on. Damn you for still holding my heart in your hand. Damn my heart for not letting me be free.

and although I absolutely do not think Jewel is all that great, this song has been running in my head all weekend, and it's letting all my emotions out.

so, damn you too, Jewel.

Fatherless Father's Day

Three times. Three times my eyes filled with tears as I remembered my father, realized I have no one to wish a Happy Father's Day to, and that my children have no grandfathers.

I read Post Secret today (a new set of cards goes up on Sundays, always a new batch, never repeated) and I cried when I read this one:



Dad had a boat in the early 80's, a white lobster boat with kelly green trim, and he named it the "Jana E." . He didn't really ever tell me he loved me, he never really noticed me at all after the divorce, but he named his boat after me. And that is all I have right now. No memories of him teaching me how to drive, taking me to the store, fixing my scraped knee with a band aid, meeting my dates at the door, giving me away at my wedding, none of that traditional Dad stuff. But, he did name a boat after me.

I forgive you, and I love you, Dad. Rest in peace, and Happy Father's Day.

This will make you smile

Hear my favorite song here: lemonade
More about Chris Rice

Lemonade
by Chris Rice

So go ahead and ask her
For happy ever after
‘Cause nobody knows what’s coming
So why not take a chance on loving
Come on, pour the glass and tempt me
Either half-full or half-empty
‘Cause if it all comes down to flavor
The glass is tipping in my favor

Life gave me lemonade and I can’t imagine why
Born on a sunny day, beneath a tangerine sky
I live life without pretending
I’m a sucker for happy endings
Thanks for the lemonade
Thanks for the lemonade!

Now take your time to answer me
For the beauty of romancing
Is to calm your trembling hand with mine
While begging love to fill your eyes
I can hardly breathe while waiting
To find out what your heart is saying
And as we’re swirling in this flavor
The world is tilting in our favor

Life gave me lemonade and I can’t imagine why
Born on a sunny day, beneath a tangerine sky
I live life without pretending
I’m a sucker for happy endings
Thanks for the lemonade
Thanks for the lemonade!

I’ve got it made
Rest in the shade
And hold my love
While God above
Stirs wiith a spoon
We share the moon
Smile at the bees
More sugar please
He really loves us after all
We’re gonna need another straw!
We’re gonna need another straw!

Life gave me lemonade and I can’t imagine why
Born on a sunny day, beneath a tangerine sky
I live life without pretending
I’m a sucker for happy endings
Thanks for the lemonade
Thanks for the lemonade!

What they ask, What I tell them

Religion and politics: don't bring up either in the South.

Yet, my job is to help kids, and when they ask questions, or need answers, that is what I must do.

This is some of what the MySpace generation is feeling, and they are confused to be sure. But, aren't we all:

To save some topics for posterity, here is a June 10, 2007 blog entry, comments, and my commentary:


[10 Jun 2007 Sunday]

10:05 PM - Agnosticism
Current mood: curious


Agnosticism (from the Greek "a," meaning "without," and Gnosticismknowledge) means "unknowable," and is the philosophical view that the truth value of certain claims—particularly theologicalmetaphysics, afterlife or the existence of Gods, deities, or even ultimate reality—is unknown or, depending on the form of agnosticism, inherently unknowable due to the nature of subjective experience. or "gnosis," meaning claims regarding.


ok, so i don't know what i believe in.
this doesn't mean i'm atheist.
i just really am unsure about what i believe.
i agree and disagree with many different religions.
i am not certain of what i truly believe in.
i think that there is something out there.
what makes Christianity so superior to other religions anyway?
we weren't the first.
gah and one thing that really ticks me off about Christians is the amount of hypocrisy.
religion is usually more said than done in my opinion and most only take part in it in order to stay "with" society.
this bugs me.
i believe that nobody can be completely be sure of their religion and there are countless questions that we never will be able to answer.
i also find it very hard to follow the bible.
the way i see it: why should we listen and follow a book that was written over 2000 years ago?
i mean sure it has a good message in the end but times have changed.
we live in a completely different world than the biblical people did.
i find it silly to follow so much into the past.
we need to look into the future!
call me crazy, but this is how i feel.
maybe i'm ignorant, who knows.
i also find it very difficult to take part "worship."
i mean i find it time consuming and non-beneficial.
i prefer mediation.
i don't know, it just seems so unlikely that there is an afterlife and such when so much science has been discovered.
When the bible was formed, people had no other way of explaining things scientifically so they turned to religion.
i mean doesn't that make sense?
now that we have science it seems as if we don't need religion to rely on.
do you see where i'm coming from?
and what about evolution?
before science, god ceated adam and eve.
bam, the end.
but once we discovered another explanation, christians totally rejected it.
i mean, evolution makes a lot more sense than god made it. that's it.

errr, i hope that someday i will have found something to believe.


what are your views on religion.
(Please, no "I'm a christian all the way and you're completely wrong about everything")

Thanks.
<33
(Name Removed for Privacy)




18 Comments - 11 Kudos - Add Comment


(Name removed for privacy)

i completely get what your saying. i feel the same way. science is like soo complex now and like, idk. its just weird sometimes, you know?

Posted by *******on [11 Jun 2007 Monday] at 12:53 AM
[Reply to this]



****

yes i do!

Posted by *****. on [11 Jun 2007 Monday] at 12:54 AM
[Reply to this]



***** :D

your right why would we listen to a book and i still dont know what i am.

maybe when i startto think about it more and put more thougt in toit then ill figure something out


but what that said was really what i think too

Posted by ***** :D on [11 Jun 2007 Monday] at 12:55 AM
[Reply to this]



*******
OHH wow, i wayy agree with you on alot of that. i really dont know what to believe in anymore. i tried out the whole christian thing, and it just didnt do anything for me. i cant understand how people could have such a loving god that allows some truely horrible things to happen. if i was a god i'f want peace love happiness and all such other things. i like the idea of evolution and coming from monkeys, but then it always circles back to the whole "what came first, egg or chicken", but then i think to myself, well if everything just came out of this one creature, like one specimen evolved, and multiplied and then continually multiplied and moved to different areas and grew and changed and adapted to what was around them. that much makes perfect sense to me, but then how did that first thing come to be. like im downright a non believer in god. in any god ive heard of it all sounds like stories to me.

my main thing is the whole bible thing. like what if, the bible was really just some little kids comic book, or super hero story? somehow the whole family died and they found the book and spread it around and people started to believe in it.
i guess i just want proof to believe in something.

i think it would be dumb of myself to fully believe in something just in case there really is a heaven or hell.
i really hope no one gets offended by anything and im not putting anyone down for believing in god and im not trying to make fun of anyones religion.

Posted by ******on [11 Jun 2007 Monday] at 12:59 AM
[Reply to this]



******
i mean, science makes so much more sense than "god did it".
sometimes religion seems quite foolish.
idk, its a toughy.
and about the bible, its hard for me to believe.
i mean, they took out many books when revising it being careful to not let the books contradict themselves.
how are we supposed to know the whole truth if they are hiding books from us??

Posted by **** on [11 Jun 2007 Monday] at 1:09 AM
[Reply to this]



*******
i always wonder, if they took stuff out of it to keep it, like, "fixed" and believable, what would stop them from putting things into it?

Posted by ******on [11 Jun 2007 Monday] at 1:12 AM
[Reply to this]



*****

i know.
there really is no telling...

Posted by ******. on [11 Jun 2007 Monday] at 1:13 AM
[Reply to this]



******
i know and i hate that.
and since we are on the god topic, what kind of loving god allows wars to happen and judges people that he supposedly created?
and how could someone be gay if god didnt want them to? doesnt he have a plan for everyone? so hes got life all marked out for anyone, so anyone that is different, or not what his bible says.

i dont know.
im really not all that informed on it.
i guess i just really dont get how it could all be.

Posted by ******] on [11 Jun 2007 Monday] at 1:26 AM
[Reply to this]



*****

yes! i especially don't understand homosexuality and religion.
ok, so god created everyone's life path.
he apparently already knows everything that you will ever do and become.
well then he led that person to become gay or bi or straight, right?
yet, churches constantly discourage and/or resent homosexuality.
pretty stupid if you ask me!

Posted by *****. on [11 Jun 2007 Monday] at 1:29 AM
[Reply to this]



****
AH! i sooo agree with you on that. like to the EXTREME! if he planned everyones everything, why would he plan for someone to fail, or to be something he wouldnt except.

ha, your fast becoming one of my favorite people.
tis quite fabulous.

Posted by ***** on [11 Jun 2007 Monday] at 1:46 AM
[Reply to this]



*****
Kudos on figuring it out before age 16 like I did.

Posted by *****on [11 Jun 2007 Monday] at 1:02 AM
[Reply to this]



*****
ha, yeah.
i've put a lot of thought into it lately.

Posted by ***** on [11 Jun 2007 Monday] at 1:10 AM
[Reply to this]



♥everyone calls me jana banana... ((( THIS IS MINE)))))

Okay: now this is hard to write since I work for a church, but my degree is in psychology, not divinity, so I come from a whole different perspective than some youth directors.

My background is Baptist; Northern Baptist is about as different from Southern Baptist as you can get, it's much quieter, more like a Methodist service, but it is still pretty strict. There way is the ONLY way, and that didn't make any sense to me. I was the kid that made my Sunday School teacher crazy, asking questions she could not answer. I got "saved" every single time they did an altar call, whether it was at the skating rink or at a church, and evey time felt nothing. Every time I opened a Bible, it was about someone killing someone else, a war, all really negative, awful stuff. I felt exactly the way you describe in your blog, almost word for word.

When I was in high school and into my early 20s, I studied Zen Buddhism and Tibetan Buddhism. THAT made sense to me. The whole concept of loving every sentient being, whether it be a small insect or another human being. But then, the more I studied Tibetan Buddhism, it started getting weird. Lots of strange traditions, classes that made no sense whatsoever. So I started studying other religions. Judaism (Jew), Hinduism, Unitarian, etc. I did a LOT of reading in those years.

Then, I read a great book comparing Jesus to Buddha. It was amazing. It made so much sense. There is a period of time where Jesus went away, and no matter how many translations of the Bible has been made, no one really knows where he went. Did he travel East and sit under the Bodhi tree and discover enlightenment through meditation, like Buddha? Or are he and Buddha one and the same? Or could Jesus be one of many spiritual masters that have lived on this planet, like Buddha in India, Confucious in China, wonderful Native American Indians, etc? It is hard for me to understand and embrace religions that hate homosexuality... which is biology in it's perfect form, you are either born that way or you are not. It is even harder for me to understand how religion could support racism... like there is a separate heaven for white people??? And the worst thing is the total disregard for other religions, especially good, kind, wonderful humans that have lived on this planet. If Gandhi is not in a fundamentalist heaven, then I wouldn't want to go there.

My advice to you and to all who read this, is to research, research, research. This is why I made my choice to be a Methodist years ago. They are more tolerant on races, and are becoming more and more accepting of homosexuality, and do not judge other religions. All are welcome at the church, and at the communion rail. (some churches ban other religions from receiving communion at their altar) The whole anti-gay thing comes from just a few verses, and when you really study the context of those verses they make no sense. I can give you a few examples of some, there is one where Lot tells men coming to rape his male guests.... and he throws out his own daughters and says, "Here, take them instead"... that is pretty crazy. And the whole raping of men in those days was an act of violence, and still goes on in some places.. prisons, to name one... and there is no mention of a good, loving relationship between two people of the same sex like we can understand in our world today. Although, some Bible scholars that are tolerant say that they did indeed find some non-traditional same sex partners that when you read them closely, sound like loving same sex couples that you would find in today's world.

Don't just choose a religion and say, "Oh, I am a Buddhist" without really reading all you can find about it. And that is the tough thing about being a kid, you are compelled to be whatever religion your parents are. And you may not agree with what that religion is. The best, kindest, most tolerant people in the world are the ones that find the best parts of many of the world religions and disregard the ones that do not feel right. I had a best friend tell me one time that the only parts of the Bible he reads and likes are "The ones in red", meaning in some older Bibles the words of Jesus were printed in red ink. I think that was what made me come full circle again, was just reading about Jesus. He was the ONLY one in the Bible that was fully accepting. He sat with lepers, prostitutes, people from other races and religious beliefs, and not only accepted them all, he loved them all unconditionally. He hated the idea of changing money in a house of worship, and it freaked him out so much he overturned tables and had a big fit. He spent time alone, praying/meditating, and told people to not make a big deal about fasting and praying to get attention, to be more quiet and personal with your faith. I like that. I think if he came back to earth today, he'd be working in the soup kitchens, and wouldn't step foot into the big fancy churches built "in his honor".

There is no way that anyone can be 100% sure of their religious faith until they are well informed. And even then, there will be doubts. I think that science even is perplexed about the awesomeness about creation. If we evolved from monkeys, where is the missing link? Why are they not evolving anymore? I think that the Fibonacci sequence, the math perfection of something as common as the face of a sunflower or the spiral of a pinecone is amazing. I think that Da Vinci had the right idea, he was a genius and could "see" the perfection of seemingly random things coming together. For me, it is comforting to go to church and be with other people who come together to use their resources (their tithes and offerings) to help our fellow man. That is the nicest thing about good churches, they are taking care of others. If it weren't for them, they'd be no organization that would be so generous to raise money to help the poorest of the poor. Most other organizations lie about where the money really goes, and it goes to make the heads of the companies very very rich while just a small bit goes to where they say it goes. At churches, it's all public record and it's easy to track where it all goes.

So, forgive my long post. Know that it is good to question and to learn. When you read the Bible, concentrate on the chapters that pertain JUST TO JESUS. The Old Testament is really about another period of time in history with very strict Jewish laws that really don't have much to do with today, but the cool thing is that it is a good way to read about the history of mankind, and how we evolved. Jesus was sent down here because they were doing it all wrong. They didn't realize that God wasn't a hateful being that smited them and sent down vengeance, he was love. Even the strictest, most fundamental religion has to admit that the biggest rule that Jesus spoke of was "Love One Another", simple as that.

So, kudos to Christophe for coming up with a very good discussion. It'll make you a stronger person to really come up with your OWN decision regarding religion. Blindly believing what another feeds to you is how something as terrible as the Holocaust happened. A smart man and woman makes up their own mind. Just beware of folks that try to sway you to their way... if something feels wrong in the pit of your stomach, listen to that intuition. Beliefs or people that are good and positive will never steer you down the wrong path.

Posted by ♥everyone calls me jana banana... on [11 Jun 2007 Monday] at 8:05 AM
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*****
AH!
thank you so much jana.
i think that i'm gonna be asking you a lot of questions.
religion is such a broad thing that i know extremely little about.
i need to study the bible more (the jesus parts), and read a lot about other religions.
ii think that all religions are connected in ways.
i just need to figure out what i believe and how i feel about certain things.
right now i feel a great sense of ignorance and i want to change that.
i am so glad that i have you (a good friend and youth pastor) to help me.
on more blindly believing for ****. i am gonna do a lot of reading!
i loveee you!

Posted by *****. on [11 Jun 2007 Monday] at 11:12 AM
[Reply to this]



****[♥]

I totally understand where your coming from, i mean how are you suppose to live by a book and actually understand it, cause truthfully i don't even understand the bible.
What are you suppose to do if you don't really understand it?
i have no idea... So how can i decide what to do next, it's like im caught in the middle of a bunch of religion stuff

Posted by *****[♥] on [11 Jun 2007 Monday] at 9:14 AM
[Reply to this]



*****
we just have to read and not blindly believe in what others tell us.
it's your decision in what you believe.

Posted by *****. on [11 Jun 2007 Monday] at 11:13 AM
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*****
well, i see where you're coming from, but i'd personally rather be safe than sorry.

Posted by ***** on [11 Jun 2007 Monday] at 9:42 AM
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*****

Wow this is really interesting and i belive what you say is true, ha now ive got something to say if someone calls me an atheist. thats happens to me a lot it seems. but you see i know im not. this was very deep, thoughtful, contraversal today to many people but who cares really what others think as long you yourself are happy with what you belive in and who you are.

Posted by ******on [11 Jun 2007 Monday] at 10:24 AM
[Reply to this]

Pretty damn deep, and half of these kids are only like 13, 14 years old. And my friends in the 30's and 40's are saying the SAME EXACT THING.

too late, baby, oh it's too late

Sleep anorexia: intentionally depriving ones self from sleeping like a normal human being.

that is me.

dumb ass.

I need to make a major life change.

okay, here goes:

Fortune Cookie: Your Fortune:
Your love light shines on another.

Ask Fortuna: Through the looking-glass, everything is backwards.

Ask SARK's cat Jupiter: experience more pleasure

Free Llewellyn Tarot Card Reading: Seven of Coins
in the Past position.

A card in the left position indicates what has happened to affect your question in the past.

Success and gain threatened by laziness and procrastination; delays; setbacks; calumny.


The Wheel of Fortune
in the Present position.

A card in the middle position indicates what is affecting your question at this time.

The karmic process of destiny at work; a new cycle starts; a beneficial "lucky run"; an auspicious turn of fate and change for the better; good fortune and felicity.



Six of Cups
in the Future position.

A card in the right position indicates your questions future.

Influences from the past; pleasurable realization of a long-held dream; romantic love.

Love Oracle (Playing Cards):
Jack of Clubs

You dealt the Jack of Clubs!

A Jack describes a person—either the person you are thinking about, a person very involved with the situation, or someone new entering your life in the near future.

The Jack of Clubs indicates a dark-haired or fiery person who is popular, good-hearted, and playful. You may have an admirer!

Wait

http://www.tonicarminesalerno.com/gallery2.htm

I think being single is pretty cool. I can do what I want, when I want, and am happy with that. Most of my married friends are always grumbling about something or other with their spouses, and many of them don't seem that compatible. In the time that I have divorced, many people in the city where I live have divorced, remarried, and divorced again.

Wake up people, wait for your soul mate!

pretty pretty

The reason why I posted these rings is because I watched Blood Diamond and I never, ever, ever, EVER want a diamond after watching the atrocities that go on to procure a diamond. Despite the Kimberly act, it is still occuring, and forever more when I see a diamond I will feel a little sick. Long life other gemstones and Moissanite! Green Amethyst
Aquamarine

Baby Raccoon

The day: Tuesday, March 22, 2007

The time: shortly after arriving home from work with some Chinese take out from Hong Kong

"MOM!!! Come quick!!!" yells Jade.

Dylan and I run to the back door, where Jade stands with a...a... thing in her hand.

"The dogs had...this...", and we all decided to figure out what "this" was.

Turns out, it is a baby raccoon. Eyes shut, barely see the rings on his tail, and little wee ears close to his head. We have been feeding it baby kitten replacement milk with a mini bottle, learning all we can from the Internet on how to care for an infant raccoon, and have found him a good home. "Todd" went to work with me yesterday.....Marsha fell in love with him, too. It is her brother that wants him, he had one years ago and knows how to care for them.

He is taking his bottle really well now, and finally pooping.. sounds gross, but you have to stimulate his elimination by rubbing their tummies with a warm wet finger to mimic their mom's licking them with her tongue... weird to help a baby pee and poop.. thank goodness human babies can do that much on their own!

I'll miss this little baby. Maybe I should keep him?

May

Ah, such a busy, busy month of May! We had our play, "Sylvia", it was Tina's last play in with our theater group, so it was bittersweet for everyone. She was a fine doggie, and apparently I played "a very convincing drunk" as Kate, the wife that hates the dog. Jim G. was Greg, the husband besotted with the dog, Tracy P. as Kate's best friend from Vassar, Phyliss; Elayne M. as the gender confused therapist, Leslie; and Greg V. as the equally besotted dog owner, Jim. It was grand fun!





Then, the next week, my very own star baby Jade was a hit as Sally in "You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown!" She amazed me with her singing ability and comedic ability... just amazed! This kid can really belt out a song like nobody else. To say I went each night was an understatement, you couldn't keep me away! It was awesome, and she was absolutely adorable. She broke up with her boyfriend, and is realizing the difference between nice guys and dogs, and is a pretty good judge of character.




Dylan just took his AP English exam today, won the award for the highest grade in his Chemistry I class, and has been such a delightful child this spring. He is still dating the lovely Jessica, his hair is still long down his back, and he is still playing the guitar so well.

Dirk just got another job, one with the segueway things, and new one helping with a ropes course and gaining co-op credit hours for doing so. I'll miss not having him home for the summer, but he is so happy and doing so well.. it's time for me to loosen those apron strings even more.

Nothing has happened on the "proposal". Zip, zoodle, nothing. Just as it should be, probably. I think that we are better as friends than as spouses, something just doesn't ever seem to click well. And it should, shouldn't it? Honestly, I just think that I would "know" if it was right, and I've never had that feeling. I imagine he will find someone that is more suited to him, and that I will just float around until the right everything happens, whatever that is. For now, I am very happy to have the man with too many children as my good friend, and although the whole idea was intoxicating for a while, it just doesn't seem to be going to happen. And that is okay.

A woman from church told me that some women are just not meant for marriage, is that me?? In the spirit of "The Secret", I don't want to put negativity out there. The right thing will happen at the right time with the right person and I will recognize and embrace this...whatever it is God thinks is what I need for my path and to be happy...because I think I deserve some romantic happiness, finally!

so, bless all the people out there that need prayers, those that need love, holding, healing, food, shelter, safety and hope.

My heart is overflowing with gratitude for the abundance I have, these three healthy wonderful children, a family in Maine that loves me, a home to live in and a car to drive, food in our home and electricity and water and appliances that work. A job that I adore, and a hobby that sometimes pays. Friends that are as dear as family, and books to keep me happy. A soulmate would be great, but I can wait until it is the right time for that.

Thank you, God, Jesus, guardian angels and spirit guides. Thank you sun and moon and temperatures that are so lovely I catch my breath. Thank you for blue skies and flowers that bloom, and for our adorable dogs and cats. Thank you Earth, Universe, and beyond. All is good, all is calm, and I am grateful for the opportunity to be so thankful.

The Man With Too Many Children...kinda sorta may be proposing. ???

Okay. The Man With Too Many Children wants to marry me. I think. At least, that is where the conversations are heading. My mind is spinning too fast to really hear all of it. Selling both houses and starting fresh, color coding towels, moving the fish tank last, I am hearing some of it through the rushing of the ocean in my brain as my heart is beating so fast I cannot breathe...aaaaaaaaahhhhh!

Could I be the mom of SEVEN children???? I mean, honestly, I can barely take care of the three I have, and one is away at school!

This week was the "Jana Looks For a Sign" week, and last night The Man With Too Many Children pressed me for an answer.

I was tired from a not-so-great rehearsal, my kids are away in the mountains with their dad and step mother to see their big brother, and I am feeling kinda blue and mopey...so I warned him that tomorrow would be a better time to talk.. but he pressed on for an answer.

So, my Eeyore blue self started off with all the negatives, how hard it'd be, blah blah blah...and he starts in on the nice stuff. Lots of love. Affection. Never a dull moment. And a maid to help.

Wait, back up, did he say a maid? Hmm. A maid? Hell yeah, that'd be good.

Then he started talking about houses. And I am thinking of what to say next, because moving into his house would be so awkward for my kids, his kitchen is dreadful and small, and the yard too small for all the animals, and then he says, "Of course, we would sell both houses and buy a larger home, move in together for a fresh start."

What? The man who is obsessed with and clearly loves his house, willing to sell it??

I was really reeling with confusion. It's hard to keep negative when some positives started coming out, like go to Maine in summer, Texas in winter. Hmmm.

So, now, I don't know. I prayed today in the sanctuary. I sat there all alone in the pew and prayed out loud. For an answer, a message, a sign. Anything.

And I have continued to feel like that. Is is right? Is it wrong? Could it work?

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh scared.

This afternoon, he got off work early and invited me over. We sat on his couch, he talked a lot and had his arm around me, kissed my forehead, let me close my eyes and try to relax, and I had to admit I loved the affection, attention, and the love.

But, no sign. No feeling. No white feather falling from the sky. No quarter flipped up on the pavement. No ring placed on my finger. But, he did notice a caterpillar on his tire, and gently removed it and put it near the trees to save it's life. Is that the sign I needed?

held so many people in my suitcase heart.........

"Slow Pony Home" click to hear it The Weepies click to learn more about my latest band obsession

It's the second September I have known you
Four years or so ago, I rode a pony, called him "Truth"
We didn`t know the way so it took us till today to get here

And all that time, I felt just fine
I held so many people in my suitcase heart
That I had to let the whole thing go
It was taken by the wind and snow
And I still didn't know that I was waiting
For a girl on a slow pony home

I can remember when I first saw you
You said in my photograph I looked more far away
I laughed and smiled and didn't say "I am a bit afraid to be here."

Setting free the anchor and looking past the shore
It's a sea of horses on ships with no sails, no motors, no oars

Now we're cleaning the windows between us two
Funny, you do it once, and then again, and pretty soon
the fingerprints and dust...
But I've begun to trust the view here.

"held so many people in my suitcase heart" <- that may well be the most honest thing I've heard in a long while. Not baggage, but people. Sigh.

Buying Cards

Easter cards are on prominent display in the newly revamped Wal Mart in town... I walked over and made my selections. A great one for my Mom, and some really cute Grandma ones... then it hit me.

I won't be buying any Dad or Grandpa cards, ever again.

The tug on my heart was very strong, and even now my eyes are beginning to water.

So much so that when I looked over to the left, the Husband and Sweetheart and Man that I Love cards were blurred.

First season without a card in those sections. Little things like that get to me.

Jade's First Dance

Ah, the baby girl is growing up! Going to a dance and choosing her own dresses... how adorable is she in the dress that she chose? After trying on tons of dresses...proclaiming most of them as "hoochie", she opted for this lovely sage dress. She decided she'd rather have a short one so she could wear flats- this kid is way more practical than I ever was at her age! We curled her long hair with hot rollers, she has cool rhinestone earrings and necklace, and her date, Cole, forgot to bring her corsage...and his jacket... so I don't have a photo with their corsage/boutonnière on... but I am sure they looked even cuter. She is still at the dance, and will go to Midnight Bowling with a group of kids after... really a fun night after a whole week of stressing over it.

Goodness, can she really be 14? And will she really be 15 this July? Where has the time gone? When did she get so tall? She's always been beautiful, so that is no surprise...but, is she really already this old?

For you , young lady, I hope and pray that you will retain the sweet spirit you have now. The way you cheer your friends up, the way you call people out when they are gossiping or being mean to someone, the way you laugh and turn things from a negative to a positive. I hope and pray that you will continue to keep that good head on your shoulders, always trust your intuition, and never be too grown up to "act like a kid". You are a wonderful daughter, and I am so very proud you are mine.

love,
Mama

found it!

Ah, best love scene in a movie I've seen this year (best song, too!)

Table for one, One season pass, One round trip airfare

How do you feel when somebody you once loved moves on? Especially somebody that you really loved, and honestly want to move on and be happy?

You feel like a selfish, bad person if you allow yourself to feel any regret, or sadness. But, you do. And you should. Or, at least, if you have a heart that remains wide open like mine, it'll be odd if you didn't feel something. And feel, oh, feel, I do.

And yes, I want them to be happy and to find true love and to marry. I do, I really do. And I am glad for them, and glad for the women that love them and are happy to marry them.

But I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I am sad that I wished that the time I spent with them had created such magic that I would be the one that they could not live without.

But, I have been told that I have all but pushed each guy away with a mack truck.

I cannot lie and say that I long for the day that the right one comes along and catches me from running and holds me tight and says, "You are the one for me, I want to marry you, we will be married, and we will be together forever and ever." And I will know it to be true, I will not be afraid, and at long last I will be able to let my guard down and trust that I won't be hurt again.

Until then, I will fill my days and nights with trying to be as positive as I can, and as Wesley says:

"Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, at all the times you can, to all the people you can, as long as ever you can. "
John Wesley 1703-1791

Wack Dream

Damn, did I ever have a TylenolPM induced strange dream last night!

First off, I was back with my ex-husband, and I was pregnant with my fourth child. Mind you, we have three children that are now 18, almost 16, and 14, so that'd be a miracle in itself, let alone the mere thought of us ever, ever getting back together..... but, there were Tylenol pms ingested presleep, so...

we were in a house, and there were a ton of workers there spreading loam and laying down sod in the front yard, and some kind of construction in the back too. There were tons of workers there, and they had families with them. I thought to myself, we have so many people just standing around with nothing to do, wouldn't it be great if they could play some football?

and "boom" from the sky, a cloud opened up and down came a football. The kids were all clamoring around, and thought me to be magical, and started asking for candy and toys, and I laughed and asked out loud and

"boom" a cloud opened again and down from the sky floated candy and toys, drifting slowly not hurling to the ground hurting anyone, just gently floating into their eager hands. And with it, juice boxes of all things...what the heck?? I can conjure up stuff and the best I ask for is juiceboxes??

It went on a bit longer, and then I went to the phone and called my father.

mind you, my father died in January; in the dream, I told someone that even though he was dead, for some reason when I dial his phone number he answers and I can talk to him. And I know he is dead, but it does not phase me one bit.

how the heck do I analyze that? I want another child, yes, actually. I want to be married and cared for, yes, I suppose... but not to Shawn again, but maybe he was a metaphor for another man? And asking and getting what I want, from the principles in the Secret book? and Bible Quote, "ask and ye shall receive"? The ability to call my deceased father...well, in some kind of Sylvia Browne sleep phase, perhaps I could actually call and talk to Dad.

Hmm, shall I try to sleep normally tonight or take a chance on a repeat visit from the DreamWeavers??

stranger than fiction- must see

Will Farrell, you totally made me fall in love with this character Harold Crick.

Watch the movie if you haven't already, and see if you agree... lovely. Of course, pretty near anything that Emma Thompson decides to be in will be wonderful, and this was no exception.

Ah, the quiet, methodical, boring life of an IRS Auditor... interrupted by a voice narrating his life, meets a bohemian baker- played by Maggie Gyllenhaal- with tattoos and a smart mouth. I adored it.

My favorite scene was when Harold goes up to the bohemian baker's apartment; he is both charmingly awkward and shy, and when he notices her guitar, she asks him to play for her. He says he knows one song, but cannot play, and she smiles and goes back to finishing up dishes...and then she hears him.

He sits on her couch, strums the guitar, and with his eyes shut softly croons, "Whole Wide World" by the Monkees. Softly, slowly, and achingly sweetly he plays and sings.

She walks in, takes his face in her hands, kisses him, and then straddles him on the couch....of course he is too shy to even move the damn guitar and then the song goes into a crescendo of the song done by Wreckless Eric... love it, love it, love it!!! I had to find the song, and I did, on myspace.... hopefully it'll stay up a while... click on this: Whole Wide World

I've been singing that song all week since I saw the movie.

Back to the movie... I did truly love it. No spoilers here, but there is a touching scene where Will Farrell cries and I think it was one of the best most honest side of him I have ever seen.

and heck, anyone that can make me remotely attracted to an IRS Auditor deserves 5 stars.

Viva La Quiet Man!

great muses, come to me while I sleep.........

I am uninspired

tired

bored

ready to sleep

I miss my artwork, I miss writing fiction, I miss my creativity...

is it the Claritin D? is it lack of sleep? lack of vitamins? stress from lack of money?

just got tax check, just got paid... c'mon over, creativity, woman been missin' you bad.

I almost bought another freaking puppy today... what the hell, right? why must I substitute being creative with loving another living breathing thing? why cannot I just take some time for myself, just grab some time and do what I love to do.

phssh.

whine, complain, yawn.

turn it around.... I am grateful for my busy life, and my zillion things I do and the furry animals I already own and love, and my awesome children, family and friends... and to tell you the truth, I think I am getting out of my Cancerian shell....it's been winter, I lost my dad, almost lost my brother, and me being all cocooned was probably the best gift I gave myself. BUT I do need to get my creativity back. Do you hear that, guardian angels? please help me find my mojo!

Lovely movie, cool video

Jim Croce, a beautiful man