"I've Got the Loratadine with Pseudoephedrine Blues...."

Submitted by on Mon, 01/28/2008 -

Claritin-D really makes my life better.

It allows the whites of my eyes to look white, it allows said eyes to not burn and itch, and it keeps my nose from sneezing/running/getting stuffed up. I look normal when I take it.

Without Claritin-D, or it's knock-off cousins, I am red eyed, sneezing, clearing my throat...not a pretty sight. In fact, I'd avoid me altogether.

That being said, since I love this combination of loratadine with pseudoephedrine so very much, I really don't mind waiting in line at the pharmacy to purchase this. I wait, I show my driver's license, I sign the Big Book at the pharmacy, all because some people know how to take innocuous allergy medications and make meth from it.

This was never a problem until today.

My daughter developed over the weekend which looked like a sinus infection, and the pressure in her ears was so great that her ears hurt enough that it felt like the beginnings of an ear infection. A trip to the pediatrician's office this afternoon revealed that we caught it in time, and we got a prescription and dropped it off at the pharmacy.

A few hours later (this is a busy time of year at the pharmacies) I grabbed my card for the knock off Claritin-D, and stood in line to purchase it with her prescription.

"Oh, Ms. Longfellow!", said one of the pharmacy workers, "I just pulled your daughter's tray. The prescription was written for Zyrtec-D, and it's now available without a prescription starting today. The prescription would have been $50.00 but it's on sale for $18.99, so you may as well get that."

"Great!" I told her. We smiled, the smile of someone who just saved a mom some money, and the return smile of the single mom who just saved a bunch of cash.

But then, I worried.... what about me?? "Excuse me, can I still get this?" I asked, showing her the card for the knock off Claritin-D.

A cloud passed over her face. A real, live, cloud.

"Oh. I'll have to check." and off walked my formerly happy pharmacy worker.

She asked another pharmacy worker. A pharmacist. The other pharmacist. I heard her say, "But this was a prescription for her daughter, and she just wants that for herself." And then, she made a phone call.

I already knew the answer before she even walked over.

"I am so sorry. You cannot get this. Just your daughter's. But, you may get someone else to get this for you, maybe your husband? He could use his driver's license?"

Well, there goes my Claritin-D.

So now, because of the law making sure that other people don't make meth, I'll be sneezing with red eyes and just looking like I do. And, apparently, writing a want ad:

Wanted: A man to marry to purchase additional loratadine with pseudoephedrine each month. Or, a doctor with lots of samples willing to donate to the "Keep Jana Banana From Sneezing Fund".

Damn. I mean, "AH CHOO!"